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While I was Dreaming
Welcome to The Dreamery. There have been a few changes, but my blog is still simply a random series of Thoughts and fantasies, examining my past and my impossible future. Nothing on this blog is a lie. When I say nothing that follows is made up you can be sure it is the truth. Even the dreams are real dreams that I have had . And all the fantasies are my real fantasies.

There are however some questions which may never be answered:
Is it possible to actually laugh your arse off?
How sick is a parrot?
Are sandboys truly happy?
And just how mad is a box of frogs anyway?

And mostly, I do have it all in perspective!
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Me, Dina Asher Smith and the Gypsy Kings
Posted:May 28, 2021 3:29 am
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2021 1:04 pm

I don't quite know how I am feeling today; it's a strange mixture of happy and sad, and for no reason I know of. That's though I suppose.

I looked at my work schedule and I'm in one of those phases where I have things do, but nothing much I can get with until people I am waiting hear from come back .

So I thought I might have a bit of a quiet day, do a bit of writing maybe, or tidy my work bench, put some music and try relax without being melancholy. Not sure how well I am doing just yet. Spent most of the last hour watching Gypsy Kings videos the Tube. Wow those guys know some beautiful women.

Although Latin music was never top of my list of favourite styles I have always appreciated it, the way from Santana Andean Pan Pipes, but I never heard of the Gypsy Kings until, I don't know maybe about ten or fifteen years ago, (I lose track of how long ago things were these days) when a radio DJ began use Bamboleo every day as a jingle for something. Even then I thought it was just a bit of a joke until I heard the full version and watched the video. The way the verses lead the hooky chorus is a masterful piece of song writing. I love the way they always set the scene for their songs in some sultry back-country sierra, a late afternoon at the end of siesta with friends gathering and dancing the music. The flamenco Spanish guitar style, catchy tunes, husky vocals and rhythms add something special.

I like the image they create. For me it represents the idea of a seemingly very innocent music which nonetheless brings out a deep sexuality in women. Maybe that is my whole attitude sex: I want it be wholesome and innocent, but at the same time instinctive, erotic and desperately lustful. It isn't an easy combination find in real life, and if it isn't there you can fake it.

I had a dream last night. It was the Olympic Games and Dina Asher Smith needed me help her relax and get sleep the night before the 200 metres final. I bet she could dance the Gypsy Kings.
Fucking Wind Chimes
Posted:May 21, 2021 3:26 am
Last Updated:Jun 2, 2021 5:25 am

Three days of constant winds gusting up to 45 miles an hour. And endless showery rain for weeks. WEEKS. I know it isn't hurricane or tornado force like some people have to put up with, but this is supposed to be spring in lovely southern England: blackbirds singing and apple blossom and all that. Well there's no fucking apple blossom left on my tree I can tell you that, either physically or metaphorically. I had just planted out some tomatoes as well, and they don't look like they are thanking me for it.

I'm not in the best of moods as you can probably tell by now. Frustrated with work, hemmed in on all sides by the weather and fed up with the new Covid world we all have to live in. As if it isn't enough that I have to sit here and listen to this endless blattering against the roof and the windows, some fucking idiot has hung bloody wind chimes up in their garden down the road, and they are driving me bonkers!

These chimes aren't the usual little fearie tinklers or the kind that make that rather comforting sort of hollow bamboo bonk noise. These are full-on tubular bells type loud bastards and in this weather the noise is constant. At first I thought someone was smashing glass bottles in the street. Mike Oldfield could come round my house and make a new album.

Now I am not normally one to get involved in disputes with my neighbours but honestly I am considering going round there and having a word.

Maybe I need that witchy woman Upsidedownsky had pictured on his blog to come round here and distract me before I do something I might regret later. (I suppose I might regret that later too though.)

Why couldn't some nice nubile wannabe slut come knocking on my door and say "Oh my ex boyfriend was so controlling, I need someone who I can just get into bed with and really concentrate on the sex without having to go out on dates and plan for the future, can I be your plaything please?" I mean that isn't too much to ask is it?
Seven Days
Posted:May 11, 2021 10:39 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2021 2:20 am

So normally I wouldn't post twice in one day - I like it when my friends come by and comment, but I don't want to bust in on their day and take too much of their time, or make them feel like it is all too much. But I just wanted to tell you about something which just happened because there is a serendipitous connection to my earlier post.

So, when I was driving west, the radio played "Seven Days" by Craig David. I have never really liked Craig David, but without thinking it through I would never have been able to tell you why. I don't mind a bit of American style RnB , but for me it either has to sound like they really mean it, or it has to have a good message like the Black eyed Peas "where is the love" or something. And Craig David always sounded like a wannabe to me, and also I thought he had a kind of whole "playah " style going on which seems to me to encourage sexism, which I really don't like. (I always used to think that against my better judgement I liked "Good Day" by Coolio, which is pretty sexist, until I realised that the bit I really like was the guitar riff which is lifted straight from "Footsteps in the Dark" by the Isley Brothers!)

However, over the years I have admired the lyrics of Seven Days - it tells a nice love story, and as you know I am sucker for a sexy romance. So there I was driving along, and I noticed the guitar riff for Seven Days, and I thought, this is nice, I should learn to play this, just to maintain a bit of versatility, you know. But as I listened I also thought, actually, this song really is okay.

So just now, with nothing else to do I looked it up on youtube to check out the guitar part, and there was the official video. Talk about serendipity - this video is BRILLIANT! It taps into my deepest emotional recesses. Guy meets perfect girl, but with a big dose of Groundhog Day second chances mixed in and lovely twists all the way through. I don't mind telling you it made me cry and then smile to myself at the same time.

How can I have spent over twenty years of my life thinking I didn't like this song? I suppose I was prejudiced, but in a moment of serendipity, just after I noticed the cows and the the green field of crops, I heard the light.
Good Things
Posted:May 11, 2021 2:56 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2021 1:58 am

I was driving west over the weekend, on that wonderfully iconic British road the A 303. For once I wasn't stuck in a traffic jam.

I was having one of those days when everything seems right with the world, and you look at usually mundane things and notice them in more detail, realising how much there is to admire in them. A newly germinated green field of crops, a herd of cows, an old vintage VW camper van passing in the other direction, that kind if thing.

Serendipity - not a word I am fond of somehow, I don't like its sound. In fact I think I even mistrust the kind of people who like to use it. (Or a lot of the time, misuse it.) But I do like what it means. In the dictionaries there are a variety of definitions, but my favourite is, "The gift of noticing good things otherwise overlooked." Another is "an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident."

Serendipity can sort of happen by itself - it is a thing in its own right, like good luck, but I like these definitions because they recognise the fact that in order to make the most of good luck, you have to appreciate it, you have to notice that it has happened. That, I think, is where the expression "You make your own luck" comes from. The converse is also true: successful and happy people know how to disregard bad luck. How to avoid the curse of intrusive negative thoughts.

When you think about it, life is a lot like sex in that way. We all know how you mustn't let the wrong thoughts creep in just at the key moment. How you need to focus on the good things which are happening for it to work at its best. And, when you are with a partner who makes it all come easily, how practised you become at that perfect feeling of being in tune with each other.

I think I need to get back in tune with life. In love with life if you like. Maybe most of us do. After all, your sexual partner is never really perfect are they? But they can seem to be when you are in the middle of an orgasm. (Or if they don't you are either getting it wrong, or have picked the wrong partner!)

Maybe we have to treat life more like a lover, forgive it for not being perfect, but cultivate our ability to notice its good things more.
Worth Staying Alive For
Posted:May 6, 2021 2:16 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2021 3:59 am

Even just the next glimpse of Holly Willoughby is worth staying alive for!

Someone I know has transformed their life from a feeling of hopelessness to what looks to me like a good measure of serenity and happiness.

My life fluctuates sometimes from discontent, worry, and worst of all lack of enthusiasm, to joy, energy and contentment. I don't suffer these swings to the extent that clinical manic depressives do thank goodness, and I have learned to control it up to a point. I don't beat myself up about bad days, and I get jobs out of the way so I don't have to waste time on them when I feel better! And I do feel better most of the time!

But considering my friend's story made me think: Whatever you stay alive for, make it worth it. Don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. Make getting through even the worst of life into a successful stage of your journey. As long as you can think of something to stay alive for, even if all you can think of is being there for someone else, or practising some simple skill, you have a chance to turn it all around.

A long time ago I read of a young man who was about to be shot as a spy after being captured by the Nazis in the war. He was a trout fisherman, and on the other side of the wall where he was to be shot, there was a pretty stream, and in it, a trout was rising. The guns were levelled at him, but he turned his back and leaned over the wall to watch the trout. He wanted to make the best use he could of his last few seconds. The German commander hesitated for a moment in giving the order to fire. He wondered what the young man was doing. And in that moment a car arrived with a general in it. He knew the young man was not a spy but just a pilot who had been shot down, and he gave the order not to fire. The young man was imprisoned, but after the war he lived a long and successful life. He called his life "The Stolen Years."
Jam or Cream and Who Comes First?
Posted:May 4, 2021 8:22 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2021 2:55 am

There is a traditional argument in Devon and Cornwall (where I have just been for a week) as to whether you should spread the jam or the cream on a scone first. Some people get quite worked up about it.

It made me think about simultaneous orgasms.

When I was growing up there seemed to be a widely held idea that the ultimate goal was to achieve orgasm at the same moment as your partner. It was even discussed in a book we had at school called "Everything you always wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask."

Once I got into a relationship, I realised that not only was this quite difficult to do, but also, it actually wasn't that great even when you managed it. Later, in my relationship with the woman I called the Lioness in my early days writing this blog, (a relationship full of the best kind of sex it is possible for me even to imagine,) I worked out that with her anyway, it was simply not as good as having orgasms at separate moments. The Lioness was perhaps a little unusual, in that she definitely got off on me coming, and contrary to the idea that a woman should always come first, she often liked to make me come before she did, using my orgasm to bring on hers. It worked the other way round too, and often resulted in one of us coming twice, or more. I loved it, whichever way round it happened.

We were so good together we could usually manage to come at the same time if we wanted to. But once we trusted each other to give, and take what we needed, we found it was more pleasurable to be able to concentrate on our own feelings at the key moments and not be distracted by the other. I loved being able to concentrate on her face, her movements and sounds when she was coming, rather than being lost in my own orgasm at the same time. I know she felt this way too. So I have a theory that the reputation of the simultaneous orgasm is heavily exaggerated. But of course that is only my own experience.

I have a theory about scones too. I mean, cream is a milk product, like butter. Well if you didn't have any cream, you wouldn't put jam on the scone first and then butter it would you? No, it would be the other way round. So I like to have the cream first every time. On the other hand, you could just eat your cream tea whatever way the hell you like, and it is nobody's business but your own. A bit like sex really I suppose.
Dangerous Backchat
Posted:Apr 22, 2021 1:54 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2021 8:07 am

Hesitates: "I am so sorry - you caught me staring at you."

Smiles: "It's okay."

Hesitates: "Thank you, but all the same, I apologise, realise I could have been making you feel uncomfortable."

Smiles: "Would you like to watch me drink a cup of coffee?"

Hesitates: "Can we do that?"

Smiles: "I don't see why not - you can look at me without it being uncomfortable, and I can talk to you and find out more about how your mind works."
A Depraved New World
Posted:Apr 15, 2021 8:52 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2021 2:36 am

Thanks to Upsidedownsky for the title of this post.

Somehow in the last post, we strayed into the world of artificial intelligence, and he asked the question, "would it be possible for a Bot to apply for (and get) Gold Membership?

I found myself thinking about the concept of state-of-the-art artificial intelligence, combined with the latest in fuck doll technology.

Whilst considering about writing this I happened to be flicking through the TV channels and noticed an episode of the Big bang Theory, the one in which Raj falls in love with the voice of Siri on his phone, and he asks her to call him "Sexy." In the end, he goes to visit "The Office of Siri" to give her some flowers. She says "hello sexy, what can I help you with? If you want to make love to me, just tell me." I still can’t work out exactly why, but I found this scene extremely erotic. Maybe it was the actress, Rebecca O’Donohue. She is gorgeous. But I am certain her unconditional willingness and her very slightly computerised voice had something to do with it too.
It turns out Raj was dreaming, but what if he wasn't?

Now bear with me, this is a fantasy post, just for laughs. I think. I am certainly not planning on buying a robot girlfriend. But for the accuracy of this post I thought I had better research the current situation with regard to state-of-the-art fuck dolls, and it seems technology has moved them on quite a bit. Unless the whole thing is a scam, it seems it is now possible to buy a real looking, talking, fucking robot that can have a sexual or a non-sexual conversation with you on any subject you want using artificial intelligence. It will even warm up to normal human body temperature so you can cuddle up in bed on cold nights. I looked at female dolls, but if you can have a fuck machine with a big cock, you could put it into a male doll and give it A.I. too I suppose.

Now I don’t know whether in reality the technology would be up to a high enough standard for anyone to actually forget they were talking to a machine, but let’s suppose it could. Would it be possible for this to be sexy?

I have spent a lot of my blogging time here examining that fact that what turns me on most is not so much physical, as the mental connection between two people. If I know you are dreaming about having sex with me, it turns up my arousal by a factor of ten. If I know what turns you on, and I can see it running through your thoughts, if I like you and you are for sex and really want me, I can’t get enough of you. I have tried to put this into words before - the idea of the willing gift, the wannabe slut who needs sex, but for some amazing reason wants to be with me.

That is what turns me on, but then I find, out in the real world, what I really want, what I need emotionally is also a strong-minded self-possessed woman. Yes, she wants me, appreciates me, but she has her own opinions and will tell me when she thinks I am getting it wrong. It’s not a combination I have come across very often in life.

I am wondering if buried inside this there might be a reason why I find the idea of a robot girlfriend strangely sexy. Of course I know, her responses would be programmed, not real. But I can see the attraction. I know what I would be like in reality though – I would either find that I hated the whole thing and it did nothing for me at all, or I would fall in love with her, and start wondering whether artificial intelligence has rights, whether, if they know they are thinking, they know they are alive!

So I can be sure I won’t be taking the risk of letting this fantasy slip into my real world. Either it would be a waste of money, or, if it wasn’t, it would be life threateningly dangerous.

But I would welcome your observations, (whether serious or humorous!)
A Life Woman
Posted:Apr 8, 2021 8:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2021 10:55 am

I am getting a lot of profile views from some very attractive looking women lately. Very flattering, except, somehow, I keep finding myself suspicious. A lot of them have short profiles which read in a similar style - something like "I am a very loving and warm (or Worm) woman, in love with life and looking for a wonderful man to share my zest with"

Then, today:
"I am a very attractive life woman who is ready to shine and slap her man."


Explanations anyone? (Something a little more creative than "it's just a fake," or "probably a typo," please.)

I mean I like a life woman as much as the next guy, and sure, I don't mind a slap. But what's with all this ready to shine business? Does she want me to buff her up with a cloth or something? I'm down for that, really I am. If only I knew what on earth was going on.........
Soapy Deep Throat? Surely Not?
Posted:Apr 1, 2021 6:20 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 4:40 am

I may have said this before, but I am worrying if I might have been on TrannyDating.com Where locals meet too long. In fact I think I did mention it one time when I was watching downhill skiing and the commentator said, "Good speed past the Minge Counter." I loved the idea of a minge counter. You know, you could keep one in your pocket on a night out in Newcastle. But no, it turned out to be "Minsch Canter" which is a jump on the Lauberhorn in Wengen, which was named after Joseph Minsch who crashed out there in 65.

Anyway, I am digressing, as usual. Today it's because of Home and Away, an Australian day time soap I watch sometimes in my lunch break. It's become more up to date over the last few years, with gay couples, and even quite young unmarried people regularly going on about "having the house to ourselves," but it is till fairly coy about most things to do with sex. So, to set the scene, Alf Stewart, long time stalwart of the surf club, has just been ousted as president John Palmer, who ran a bit of a back stabbing campaign under the influence of his shady new girlfriend Suzi. Alf comes into the bar, while Ryder, his twenty year old grandson is chatting with Mac, the owner of the bar, about her relationship problems.
"Here comes Mr Stewart," she says, to which Ryder responds conspiratorially,
"Just don't mention the deep-throating."


I know!!!!

I had to run it back and listen three times before I got it. "De-throneing." As in ousting as king pin of the surf club. But surely the director must have known? When he was reviewing the rushes at least if not beforehand? Mustn't he?

Or would it only have been me who heard what I thought I heard the first three times?
Love Can Build a Bridge
Posted:Mar 22, 2021 11:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2021 10:27 am

Love Can Build a Bridge

I’m not sure TrannyDating.com Where locals meet is the best forum for this, but it is the forum I have got, so here goes:

Recent events all round the world have highlighted inequality, injustice, prejudice and violence. There is a place for Government education and legislation. There is a place for campaigns educating those who don’t want to be prejudiced, but who just haven’t yet seen things from a different point of view. But as in so many cases these days governments and “society” are easy scape-goats, when the real problem is people. It is people who perpetrate violence to one and other. It is people who decide on the words of their hate speech. We are hate's Universal Soldiers.

It is real everyday people who throw their food wrappers in the hedge or dump old motor oil in the river. The fact that doing so is illegal doesn’t stop them, and the same is true of bigger crimes. Apart of course from what we pick up from our parents, what really shapes us growing up is what we learn from the social groups we form. A might have influences that set them on the wrong path. What might change their thinking is the attitude of their friends and colleagues: the censure of their contemporaries and the people they come across in their daily lives. So often instead, the desire of their peers to fit in and be liked, or at least the desire to stay safe saying nothing, allows, or worse, encourages bad behaviour. We are all, each one of us, responsible for that.

The public, (perhaps most particularly the British public - what other public do I really know) is addicted to confrontation. How else can you for the popularity of shows like East Enders and Jerry Springer? Radio hosts openly admit to inciting controversy because it boosts the listening figures. And people want to see it in real life as well as in entertainment. We all know lots of people who enjoy probing their friend’s insecurities in the hope of getting a rise out of them. There is a difference between argument and confrontation, or between friendly banter and belittling someone. When we the sensational newspaper, or enjoy reading social media slanging matches we are like in the playground shouting “fight fight fight,” but we tell ourselves it’s okay, because we are only watching. It’s not okay.

What prompts this behaviour, and why do people allow it? Why do we feed the fact that it is easier to get attention making trouble than making friends? What it is that turns into the people who enjoy breaking things, bringing others down; the people in the song who “get their kicks stomping on a dream?” Deliberate provocation should be as unacceptable as the violence itself: Personal Foul - Roughing the Passer; yard penalty / Unsportsmanlike Conduct - Goading; yard penalty. Why is this accepted as perfect sense in the National Football League, but not in real life?

Misogyny under the guise of humour needs to become as unacceptable in real life as it would be now on prime time tv. Men need to call each other out on this. The friend who still sends round sexist jokes thinking they are funny; your mate on the building site who still wolf whistles at the women walking . The sports guy who thinks it’s a bit weird to have a woman on the team.

Next time I hear about someone being racist, sexist or violent, maybe I shouldn’t ask myself “why aren’t there more laws, more police or better lighting?” I should ask who was it who didn’t notice this person becoming twisted in their views when they were young? Who failed to call him out when he made his first questionable statements? Why didn’t the people around him (not his parents or his teachers or his correction officers, but his own contemporaries,) tell him his behaviour would not be tolerated among them?

I also take issue with the current fashion to blame men in general for all these problems. This doesn’t . If we tell young men that the male gender is a problem we take away their self-esteem, their hope for their futures. Some of them will act out. We should give good men the credit for knowing that men and women are different but equal, and give them the confidence to censure their errant contemporaries.

We are all from different backgrounds, races, and genders and of differing viewpoints - sometimes it isn’t easy to understand each other.

Love Can Build a Bridge

As the worm-woman said to the centaur
How do you make love to a Centaur?
Posted:Mar 17, 2021 11:09 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 4:30 am

Misread typos continue to raise new topics in my mind.

This time, Violette and Smarty are to blame with their interpretations of my last post, mis-reading Hippiechick's "Hose Kind of Woman," as " Woman."

V goes on to get quite excited the idea of creatures half man half , why I can't possibly imagine, but here's the thing: She says, "but of course they are only males, like goat men."

I beg to differ. Centaurs can be male or female: the Greeks, (who invented / knew all about them) say so, although I admit, you don't see many about these days. I seem to remember they were all male in Narnia too. (If so, how do they breed? Or are they only ever the hybrid (and therefore infertile) offspring of a union between a woman and a ? (Or a man and a for that matter, eugh.)

So I was intrigued. Could there be women here on this site, looking for available men? I searched. Nothing. They must be like the unicorns in the Bulb advert - able to disguise themselves and hiding in plain sight. So I checked out an on-line porn emporium I know, and A-ha! There they were, in cartoon form I will admit, but, real live centaurs, fornicating in front of my eyes.

But something was badly wrong! Not being an arse man, I prefer my sex face to face. But surely, these were the wrong kind of women? Their centaur men were taking them doggy style, from behind. Surely, a true sex-goddess female centaur should have her vagina between her front legs? Not much use if she was only into shagging other centaurs of course, but from my point of view his would be so much sexier, wouldn't it? I don't know. Maybe I'm out of touch.

I have the same problem with mermaids. I mean they look gorgeous, but it's just not practical is it?

Thoughts anyone?
What is a Hose Woman?
Posted:Mar 16, 2021 6:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2021 4:30 am

There are Hose Women now as well as Worm Women. I know this to be true, because Hiippiechick said so.

What are Hose Women I wonder?

Maybe those sexy women I see around who wear those figure hugging leggings? Or the girls at the car wash? Or maybe a dominatrix who will whip you with a garden hose pipe before dragging you off into the dahlias for a quick bunk up behind the potting sheds?

Women who will only have sex with a man who has a knob like a hose?

Who knows about the Hose? Or I suppose that could be spelt 'hos?

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