Where locals meet

You see that smoke?  

secret_lade 47F
11539 posts
6/19/2021 4:28 am
You see that smoke?


Yah... That smoke coming from that bridge... Yes, indeed, it is a blazing inferno of fire.

This burned bridge scorched my eyebrows.

the day my dad died I had needed talk a familiar voice, a friend, someone who could help me process that had happened.

I tried calling the Hippie.

*Striking match here*

He did not have his phone on so I sent him a text instead.

"My dad died today."

I knew that, at some point, he would turn the phone back on again and get the text. What I didn't expect was that this would be the text I received in return.

"Dam. Terrible broken times. Nothing good to say about anything. If I could suicide out, I'd be gone too. But I guess I'm going out violent & hot. Love you. Thank you for everything .... Loved you more than I ever loved myself. Didn't even turn the phone on at all yesterday. No reason for anything anymore."

*Holding match to gasoline soaked kindling surrounding bridge*

Really?!? My dad dies and this is the message I get in return.... A ', that sucks' would have sufficed. I ended letting him have it, both barrels.

"[Hippie], my dad died yesterday. An officer came my job break the news. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There are MUCH worse things in life than refusing to get a job and crying poor everybody is out get . Your life is what you make it. Want a better life? Do something about it."

*Poof! Bridge completely engulfed in flame*

"Fuck you"

Thank God he didn't send another diatribe of rambling suicidal ideation for attention.

"Fuck you too you miserable fuck."

"Don't ever call me again, text or stop by you fat bitch"

*Flaming timbers falling into the deep ravine below the blazing inferno, bridge collapsed*

This has been an emotional period of change for me. Not since my divorce have I experienced such upheaval and feelings of finality.

Today though, for the first time in a while, I feel like I'm ready for some fresh starts.

Happy Saturday!

lonlyforlove2 78M
29195 posts
7/17/2021 6:49 pm

It is hard to believe there are people that would think this much less say it. All one can say is he just does not know where he is or what is going on.. Just let it go like a leaf falls from a treen to be stepped on by all and finally washed down the drain...
Look forward dont wory about the the past.......... Just aSmile lift your head and go foraard...


alphamsh2 31M
18 posts
7/16/2021 8:18 am

I really hope you are doing well after your father has passed. Sorry for your loss.

I personally would get a therapist because this is probably one of the most stressful times in your life.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/21/2021 2:38 am

    Quoting coolpoolguy3:
    What a self centered a**hole, you are much better off without that drama in your life. Sorry for your loss, it is never easy to lose family even if you weren't close and sometimes it takes a while to process the loss.
You are right... I've got enough of my own stuff happening right now, I don't need his self-created drama too. I just don't have it in me to add any more.


coolpoolguy3 54M
3205 posts
6/20/2021 9:42 pm

What a self centered a**hole, you are much better off without that drama in your life. Sorry for your loss, it is never easy to lose family even if you weren't close and sometimes it takes a while to process the loss.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 11:00 am

    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    What a jerk!
    You're better off without him.
    Now if I could just take some of my own advice.
I'm not very good at taking my own advice either....


hippiechick1967 57F
13013 posts
6/20/2021 9:33 am

What a jerk!
You're better off without him.
Now if I could just take some of my own advice.

Elevate me...


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:21 am

    Quoting positively4you:
    Aint he a dream? Good riddance it seems. You will process this eventually. Just not easy right now for you. I have found to let the cry take over. Never suppress it.
    The ones who care about us are there for us. The others, forget them.
Oh, believe me... I've been doing a lot of crying. Not for him, though.... He doesn't deserve my tears.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:18 am

    Quoting citizen4722:
    You're better off without the horrible hippy for a start
Thank you, I think so too.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:18 am

    Quoting topherific:
    not for nothin but you still have my phn # ...i think, if so use it, just if you need someone to listen and say nothing...and your not a fat bitch
thank you He knew that would really hurt my feelings, that's why he said it. That alone revealed volumes about his true character.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:13 am

    Quoting oldbstrd55:
    I'm at a loss for words. Sadly I know so many people just like that.
It's a sad reality, isn't it? I know a lot more people like that myself.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:10 am

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    I think you already, deep down, knew that your time and relationship with the Hippie was pretty much over. Now you know for sure that it's done and over. Shame he couldn't look beyond his own misery and self-involvement to help with your pain. A hug, a kind word. On the chalkboard of life...he just got the eraser. lol Onward to better things!
"On the chalkboard of life....he just got the eraser."

I love that. It sums things up perfectly. Thank you.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:09 am

    Quoting boobwhisperer69:
    Sorry for everything that's going on!! Maybe the new awakening will do you good and bring you clearer vision of tomorrow! Everything you said to him was spot on! Just sucks when the one you turned to, wasn't there!!! You deserve better! Hope you find a sympathetic ear to help out!
Clearer vision.... It helped me to realize I was turning to the wrong person. I do think this new awakening was much needed.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:04 am

    Quoting CUMHANDLEME:
    Ouch ... This has been one hell of a month for you.
    You're a strong woman with the ability to push through to a new path.
It has been one hell of a month so far.... One I'd like to not relive again.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 4:00 am

    Quoting jajo696:
    Deep down you knew he had no capacity to embrace u or your loss. The exercise is that you told him...you did what u needed to do. His response just cemented why he is the ex. Yes...burned bridges force new routes to take. Now is not the time to make any major decisions.....but you will...in time. Take your time...~~
The more I've thought about it, the more I realized it was actually something that needed to be done. A lot of times, as I'm writing a post, I see situations from a lot of different angles I may not have originally seen them through. This bridge to this toxic person needed to be burned.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:56 am

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    Looks like a new start is being thrust upon you whether you want it or not. Try and find a positive in all the negative.
New beginnings... They're kind of scary, but you'll never know if there's something better waiting out there for you if you don't give it a chance.


KX450F2016 52M  
187 posts
6/20/2021 3:56 am

So sorry to hear that. I know there's not much I can say to make you feel better, but time will heal. HUGGS!!


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:53 am

New routes indeed!


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:52 am

    Quoting lust4life59:
    Some bridges are so so unsafe they need to be burned. I'm in the process of lighting a few afire myself. Hugs, it can only get better.
It was time to burn this bridge. I'm a good person, I should be filling my life with as much good as I can.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:51 am

    Quoting Massass1963:
    I am with you. I have lost both parents, also. I get that some people may say things, unintentionally, that actually aren't helpful. Many people struggle to find the right words, but they mean well. In this case, that guy just seems to be focused on himself with no regard for others. It is likely why he is in the situation he is in.
    Sometimes the best thing is to just say one is sorry for another's deep loss. If possible, being available if one needs a shoulder, is helpful, too.
He has been stuck on this 'feel sorry for me' kick for about 3 years now. I stopped seeing him because he blames everyone else, and it's really all him. He intentionally said all of that.... It's not even the first time he's said that to me. A true friend would have said, how are you feeling... Not, I want to commit suicide by I'm to much of a chicken to do so. He was not my true friend.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:41 am

    Quoting 57FredFred:
    There's no explanation in the world as to why you are experiencing such bad times at this time, except, life.

    But there is a cure and you said it yourself, "Your life is what you make it. Want a better life? Do something about it."

    With the strength that you posses and the goodness in your heart, YOU will survive and be a better person after all is said and done. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
I work on making a better life for myself every single day. If anything, that taught me to get rid of the toxic people in my life. Life lesson finally learned.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:33 am

    Quoting mufdiver69er2:
    thus begins the journey....btw..whats the latest on bootcamp boy?
Bootcamp Boy... I like that! I got my first letter, he's feeling homesick.


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/20/2021 3:31 am

    Quoting nsnguystill:
    .... and just when you reach out for a much needed hug.
    the one you reach to
    has no arms
    sorry to read of your (ex) friends self indulgence
It wasn't until that moment that I realized just how really selfish he was.... For 10 years I listened to him ramble on about conspiracy theories and and his righteous belief that he was better than everyone....


positively4you 71F  
4347 posts
6/19/2021 2:59 pm

Aint he a dream? Good riddance it seems. You will process this eventually. Just not easy right now for you. I have found to let the cry take over. Never suppress it.
The ones who care about us are there for us. The others, forget them.


citizen4722 63M  
72074 posts
6/19/2021 1:17 pm

You're better off without the horrible hippy for a start


topherific 58M
5019 posts
6/19/2021 12:14 pm

not for nothin but you still have my phn # ...i think, if so use it, just if you need someone to listen and say nothing...and your not a fat bitch


oldbstrd55 64M
3122 posts
6/19/2021 10:45 am

I'm at a loss for words. Sadly I know so many people just like that.


pagancountrygirl 63F
5859 posts
6/19/2021 10:13 am

I think you already, deep down, knew that your time and relationship with the Hippie was pretty much over. Now you know for sure that it's done and over. Shame he couldn't look beyond his own misery and self-involvement to help with your pain. A hug, a kind word. On the chalkboard of life...he just got the eraser. lol Onward to better things!

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


boobwhisperer69 58M  
7150 posts
6/19/2021 9:27 am

Sorry for everything that's going on!! Maybe the new awakening will do you good and bring you clearer vision of tomorrow! Everything you said to him was spot on! Just sucks when the one you turned to, wasn't there!!! You deserve better! Hope you find a sympathetic ear to help out!


CUMHANDLEME 58F  
712 posts
6/19/2021 9:21 am

Ouch ... This has been one hell of a month for you.
You're a strong woman with the ability to push through to a new path.

Do you have any Primal Urges ... I do, please CUMHANDLEME and explore some of my naughty and nice Primal ... Urges with me !!!


jajo696 66F
3672 posts
6/19/2021 8:09 am

Deep down you knew he had no capacity to embrace u or your loss. The exercise is that you told him...you did what u needed to do. His response just cemented why he is the ex. Yes...burned bridges force new routes to take. Now is not the time to make any major decisions.....but you will...in time. Take your time...~~


mc_justmc 61M  
6667 posts
6/19/2021 7:11 am

Looks like a new start is being thrust upon you whether you want it or not. Try and find a positive in all the negative.


salty_one_65 56M
51 posts
6/19/2021 6:09 am

Burned bridges bring new routes...


lust4life59 62F  
2001 posts
6/19/2021 6:01 am

Some bridges are so so unsafe they need to be burned. I'm in the process of lighting a few afire myself. Hugs, it can only get better.


Massass1963 58M
1585 posts
6/19/2021 5:43 am

I am with you. I have lost both parents, also. I get that some people may say things, unintentionally, that actually aren't helpful. Many people struggle to find the right words, but they mean well. In this case, that guy just seems to be focused on himself with no regard for others. It is likely why he is in the situation he is in.
Sometimes the best thing is to just say one is sorry for another's deep loss. If possible, being available if one needs a shoulder, is helpful, too.


57FredFred 64M  
720 posts
6/19/2021 5:31 am

There's no explanation in the world as to why you are experiencing such bad times at this time, except, life.

But there is a cure and you said it yourself, "Your life is what you make it. Want a better life? Do something about it."

With the strength that you posses and the goodness in your heart, YOU will survive and be a better person after all is said and done. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.


mufdiver69er2 60M
1644 posts
6/19/2021 4:55 am

thus begins the journey....btw..whats the latest on bootcamp boy?

woop woop


nsnguystill 69M
262 posts
6/19/2021 4:48 am

.... and just when you reach out for a much needed hug.
the one you reach to
has no arms
sorry to read of your (ex) friends self indulgence

there is a world of difference between insane and stupid


secret_lade 47F
7556 posts
6/19/2021 4:29 am

Yah... That smoke coming from that bridge... Yes, indeed, it is a blazing inferno of fire.

This burned bridge scorched my eyebrows.

On the day my dad died I had needed to talk to a familiar voice, a friend, someone who could help me process all that had happened.

I tried calling the Hippie.

*Striking match here*

He did not have his phone on so I sent him a text instead.

"My dad died today."

I knew that, at some point, he would turn the phone back on again and get the text. What I didn't expect was that this would be the text I received in return.

"Dam. Terrible broken times. Nothing good to say about anything. If I could suicide out, I'd be gone too. But I guess I'm going out violent & hot. Love you. Thank you for everything .... Loved you more than I ever loved myself. Didn't even turn the phone on at all yesterday. No reason for anything anymore."

*Holding match to gasoline soaked kindling surrounding bridge*

Really?!? My dad dies and this is the message I get in return.... A 'gee, that sucks' would have sufficed. I ended up letting him have it, both barrels.

"[Hippie], my dad died yesterday. An officer came to my job to break the news. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There are MUCH worse things in life than refusing to get a job and crying poor me everybody is out to get me. Your life is what you make it. Want a better life? Do something about it."

*Poof! Bridge completely engulfed in flame*

"Fuck you"

Thank God he didn't send another diatribe of rambling suicidal ideation for attention.

"Fuck you too you miserable fuck."

"Don't ever call me again, text or stop by you fat bitch"

*Flaming timbers falling into the deep ravine below the blazing inferno, bridge collapsed*

This has been an emotional period of change for me. Not since my divorce have I experienced such upheaval and feelings of finality.

Today though, for the first time in a while, I feel like I'm ready for some fresh starts.

Happy Saturday!


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